By Bob Morris
What might you do in case your eighty-year-old father dragged you into his hell-bent hunt for brand new love?
A few months after the demise of his spouse, Joe Morris, an affable, eccentric octogenarian, wishes a alternative. If he can get a brand new hip, he figures, why no longer a brand new spouse? firstly, his skeptical son Bob (whose personal love lifestyles is a catastrophe) is appalled. yet suspicion speedy turns to enthusiasm as he reveals himself trolling the personals, screening clients, chaperoning, and supplying etiquette find out how to his needy father. Assisted Loving is a hot, witty, and wacky chronicle of a father, a son, and their 12 months of relationship dangerously.
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Extra info for Assisted Loving: True Tales of Double Dating with My Dad
Unsuitable season. I head out in plaid Bermudas and black T-shirt to discover the streets of the West Village teeming with males nonetheless of their thirties and boldly baring their hard-won physiques. i glance and glance away. I should still lose ten kilos. I’m now not my excellent homosexual weight, ok? yet it’s been over a month because the final courting catastrophe, so i must attempt. This one by no means even spoke at the cell with me. We made all of the preparations via e mail. i do know not anything extra approximately him than that he lives downtown, works as a stagehand, and has a well-toned torso published on his profile. He steered we meet on the puppy run at Madison sq. Park so he can deliver his alongside. sounds like a good suggestion to me. Why now not have a pleasant nonverbal 3rd social gathering round as a talk starter? I pass Thirty-third road and input the park, shaded with locust bushes, and locate the single unoccupied bench. It faces Jenny’s puppy Run, a dusty fenced-in patch of dust choked with skinny youngish humans and their dogs partners, all fresh, energetic, and good behaved. I’m no longer a puppy individual. yet as I watch humans cuddling outdated beagles, throwing sticks to younger Jack Russells, and stroking smooth Irish setters, i ponder if there isn’t anything to the affection among proprietor and puppy that I’m lacking in my lifestyles. could having a puppy train me approximately unconditional love, make me a greater and happier individual? I guess it will show you how to get a few cognizance in the street. perhaps i'll simply hire one. hiya. i feel that’s my date, Greg, over there. certain. He’s getting into the park in cutoffs that exhibit great legs. He’s balding, yet that’s no surprise—I already observed his photos—and he’s really doing it rather well: a type of shaved homosexual heads. I wave. He’s bought the coloring I love—florid dermis that redheaded men get from the solar. And nice palms, now not meticulously muscular, yet someplace among toned and buff. Woof. “Greg? ” “Bob? ” “Yeah. hello! And who’s this? ” The puppy is a black wiggly blur, all snout and tail. “This is Scooter,” he says. “What type of puppy is he? ” “A Portuguese water puppy. ” “Adorable,” I say, voice excessive and a bit compelled. “Hi, Scooter! ” I don’t need to lie. The puppy is lovely. He feels like the archetypal chuffed puppy, the type that used to fill pages of elementary-school analyzing books. nonetheless, whilst I carry my hand out to the touch Scooter, it truly is tentatively. Ever considering the fact that i used to be a toddler and observed a cocker spaniel chunk my mother’s hand (she enjoyed dogs), i've been wary “Yes, that’s my solid boy,” Greg is telling Scooter, who's licking his face. Then he shall we him have a pleasant lengthy drink from his bottle of Evian. Do humans proportion water bottles with canine? He offers Scooter one other drink and takes one himself. What approximately me? i'll use a drink straight away. yet he doesn’t provide me one. “You are shut, huh? ” I say. “Yeah, totally,” he replies, as he nuzzles Scooter. “We sleep jointly each evening. ” Now Scooter is barking at us, sharp the teeth showing—an fringe of violence that makes me fearful. yet I retain smiling. “He desires to play,” Greg tells me. “We’ll be correct again. ” contained in the puppy run, whereas he throws a tennis ball persistently for his puppy to retrieve, I watch with a grin plastered on my face.